Day to Day Thoughts

August 7th, 2019

Mood: Anxious šŸ˜Ÿ

My thoughts can be overwhelming at timesā€¦.

Work is an excellent distraction. I am thankful every day that I work from home and that I still have my job. I love my job and in many ways it is helping me ā€œkeep it togetherā€ from day to day.

I try my best to have as many normal days as possible but it isnā€™t easy because I know that my body is fighting hard and that I am sick with cancer. Most days I try to forget that I have another treatment coming up, that I am sick, that I am fighting cancer. To most I look like I am brave and dealing with all of this well but I am not as brave as you think.

I have cancerā€¦.those 3 words still make me cry when I say them outloud or even think them. I still cry when I look in the mirror and see that all of my hair is gone, that my left breast is deformed. I cry often, if that makes me weak then so be itā€¦I am doing the best I can.

This is a terrible and difficult journey, one that I didnā€™t ask for, one that isnā€™t in my family history and one that will change my life foreverā€¦..

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