My First Mammogram in 18 Months

On Monday, I had my first mammogram in 18 months. Once my temperature was checked, I signed the necessary paperwork, and then I went over to the registration area. I noticed while going through the process of registering that the paperwork from my surgeon ordering my mammogram, said to do an ultrasound “if medically necessary.” I prayed that I would not need an ultrasound because I knew that meant that they saw something during the mammogram and would need to take a closer look.

The breast center that I go to, which is in the same building as my surgeon and oncologist, takes terrific care of me. I barely waited for 5 minutes before the nurse came to get me to take me to the back so I could change into a gown. I love the gowns there, they are pre-heated, and so are the blankets! It’s the little things I guess, anything to feel more comfortable when you are waiting to go in to have your breasts smashed in a machine. I was incredibly nervous because I couldn’t help but think about the last time I had a mammogram; when the results said that I had a mass that was “highly suspicious of malignancy.”

When I went back for the mammogram, the first task we needed to take care of was to go over everything I had been through concerning my breast cancer and treatment. It was hard to recount everything from the number of treatments to how many surgeries I have had, what type of surgery it was, and when everything occurred. It was hard to go through the details, not because I couldn’t remember them but because I could, and it was just so much to go through in a short period of time. Even now, when I start thinking about everything that has happened, I get depressed, and sometimes I am brought to tears. I am lucky to be here, and I know that, but that fact doesn’t take away the memories and pain of every blood draw, surgery, and treatment that I have endured.

I didn’t realize how different the process of a mammogram would be with breast implants, so it was a shock to go through what seemed like twice as much imaging. First, I had a regular mammogram, and the standard trays were used with the usual amount of images being taken. But since I have breast implants, I had to have extra imaging done with my implants being pushed up and out of the way. I won’t lie, it was painful to have the edge of the metal platform jam into the scars under my breasts, but it was necessary to be in that position to move my implants out of the way. Once we had finished the mammogram, the tech had me go back to the waiting room while the doctor looked over the images. I waited for a few minutes, and when I saw the tech come back, I was hoping that it was time to leave, but no, the doctor asked for a few more images. So we went back to the mammogram room, and she took two more images, and then sent me back to the waiting room.

I waited for a few more minutes, and then a different and very pregnant tech came to get me. I noticed right away that she was taking me into the ultrasound room, and I immediately got upset. She told me not to worry and that this was normal, but I knew better. She only imaged my right breast, the side where I did not have breast cancer. Once she was finished getting more images, she took me back to the waiting room while the doctor took a look at the ultrasound images. After a few minutes, the mammogram tech came to take me back to the mammogram room for one last mammogram image of my right breast. Now my anxiety is starting to kick into high gear! “What did they find? Do I have cancer in my right breast now? I can’t go through everything again!” My mind was racing, and I wasn’t going to calm down until I knew what was going on. Still, at the same time, I truly appreciated that they were taking their time to make sure that they were able to see and identify what was showing up in the images and give my surgeon and me accurate information.

This time instead of taking me back to the waiting room, the tech had me wait in the mammogram room while the doctor took a look at the last image. She said that I might have to go back to the ultrasound room with the doctor so she could pinpoint the area that was causing concern. Sure enough, I went back into the ultrasound room, and the tech did some measuring and marked an area with a pen for the doctor. The doctor came in and took a few extra images, looked at everything carefully, and then told me that I have some tiny cysts in my right breast, but they are benign, there is no sign of cancer! 😊

How Do You Tell People That You Have Cancer?

Telling people that are close to me that I was diagnosed with breast cancer was a very personal and difficult decision. I am sure you are thinking that I am crazy for saying that and I would have agreed with you when I was first diagnosed, but I don’t agree now. Why wouldn’t a patient want to tell their family and friends? Or, what would make a cancer patient regret telling them? It will probably surprise you to know that I have spoken with some cancer patients that didn’t tell anyone, or that after the fact, they had wished that they hadn’t.

Family members, friends, and co-workers are never comfortable hearing that someone they know and care about has received a breast cancer diagnosis. It is a hard subject to discuss and every cancer patient knows that to some degree once they start telling people that they have cancer, the flood gates open with questions and in some cases blame. It is sad but true that sometimes out of fear, people are ignorant enough to ask a cancer patient what they “did or didn’t do to get cancer”. I can tell you that I was blaming myself early on. I was sure that it was my fault, that I had done something wrong and that is why I ended up with breast cancer. I know now that it was ignorant of me to blame myself. I didn’t do anything to cause my cancer, cancer chose me.

Sometimes people stay away because it is easy for them to assume that since someone they know was terribly sick during chemo, that you will be too; or someone they know did not survive breast cancer, so you won’t either. Understandably, they are afraid to be close to you because they think that you will die and it will hurt more if they step into the reality of your cancer so if they don’t talk to you, it isn’t real. I have found myself reminding people that I am still me, that every breast cancer patient’s experiences and outcomes are different, even if they have the exact same diagnosis. So many factors go into how a patient will respond to chemo and radiation treatments as well as undergoing multiple surgeries like most of us do, so it is impossible to predict what will happen. I am happy to say that I am doing well now that I am well over a year out from my diagnosis…I am a survivor!

I didn’t tell anyone right away because my husband and I were in shock and we needed to process what was going on. I also had my first biopsy to go through and I wanted to have the specifics of my breast cancer before sharing the information with anyone. Just a few weeks later once all of the test results were back, I told my family and close friends first through phone calls and private messages. As the news spread of my diagnosis, some people reached out to me immediately and others often times the people I wanted to talk to the most, stayed away from me, not knowing what to say. I can’t blame people for distancing themselves because I understand how hard it is to hear about the pain, endless doctors’ appointments, and everything else that I had to endure both physically and mentally for months on end. I also understand that people think that they would be bothering me or burdening me if they wanted to talk about things that they are going through, but if that is what they are thinking, they couldn’t be more mistaken. Right now, especially while I am laid off from work, I need my friends and family, I need to connect with people.

Being diagnosed with breast cancer has taught me that we never know what tomorrow will bring. Putting off spending time with the people that we care about and love should not be left until tomorrow, or next week or when we think we will have time because time is not on our side. {Yes, I know that the virus we are all dealing with is not helping bring us together, face to face, but there are other ways to communicate.} Sometimes the choices we make will only bring us to feelings of regret in the future, and sometimes it is too late to go back to the cherished moments we should have had with those that we love and value.

Breast Cancer Glossary: 41 Terms You Should Know

When I was first diagnosed with breast cancer it was unimaginably overwhelming in so many ways. My head was spinning with questions and fears and like many newly diagnosed patients, I felt like I needed to quickly learn a new language. Little by little I began to understand my diagnosis and what it meant for me as a breast cancer patient. Now, 16 months later, I have come across all of these terms either through my own experiences, discussions with my doctors or by reading the endless sources of information that I have discovered along the way. In the beginning of my journey it would have been so helpful to have all of the information below in one place for me to reference. I hope by sharing this article I am able to help answer some of the questions you might have as a breast cancer patient or a caregiver to a breast cancer patient.

At the bottom of this article, Monica suggests writing your cancer story basics using this guide. I am finding that quite often people will ask me for this information whether it is in a new forum that I have joined or during a conversation I am having with someone new. I have included my cancer story basics here in this blog post and on my “About Me” page.

My Cancer Story Basics: I was Dx at age 51 w/ ER/PR+, HER2-, IDC. I have had ACT, Rads, and I am on a 10 yr plan w/ HT, Anastrozole. My cancerversary is the date of Dx on February 25th, 2019. I have had a partial mastectomy, port-a-cath insertion, reconstruction w/reduction mammoplasty and insertion of breast prosthesis following reconstruction.

The author of this article, Monica Haro, is the community guide for the breast cancer support app BC Healthline. This particular app has been an amazing source of support for me both while I was in the middle of fighting breast cancer and also now that I am learning to live life as a survivor.

Medically reviewed by Krystal Cascetta, MD — Written by Monica Haro on July 6, 2020

Utterly overwhelmed is how I felt when I faced the uncertainty and devastation of my breast cancer diagnosis 5 years ago.

I dove into online communities to connect, observe, research, and be heard. When I did, I was lost on some of the language. There were so many terms, acronyms, and abbreviations to learn.

Some things that now seem obvious to understand weren’t while dealing with a brain processing the new trauma of my cancer diagnosis.

If you’re wondering what in the world a red devil, foob, expander, and ooph is, I’ve got you.

16 Months in Pictures

Mood: Amazed 😌

As I was looking through my pictures the other day I noticed that I have a picture of myself, taken in most months from when I was diagnosed with breast cancer up to the present time. So I decided to make a collection showing how I looked before breast cancer {the first picture} all the way up to how I look now {the last picture}. You can clearly see when the chemotherapy treatments really started to effect how I looked; the loss of my hair, eyebrows and eyelashes, my skin getting dryer and my fine lines showing more.

It’s a given that the last 16 months have been hard on me both mentally and physically.  But, nothing tore me down and damaged me more than the chemotherapy treatments did. Chemotherapy took a part of me that I will never get back. When the chemotherapy treatments were over I realized how much the drugs and the stress of everything I had been through up to that point had aged me, a lot. Looking back through my pictures it’s easy to see how much my face has aged and it breaks my heart. I am doing what I can to undo the damage but it has not been an easy process.

Final Appointment With My Radiation Oncologist

Mood: Happy 😊

A few days ago I had my final appointment with my radiation oncologist. The last time I saw her was the Friday before my last treatment back in January so this was a 6 week follow up to check on my overall health, my skin where my burn was on my collar bone and on my breast.

The skin on my collar bone got even redder a few days after my last treatment. I had some medicated lotion left over from going through my daily treatments so I kept using that three times a day and the burn eventually peeled completely and then healed up. She said that my breast is still a little swollen and I agreed. The swelling will eventually go away with time, there isn’t much I can do to help it along and it’s not so swollen that I need to be concerned about it.

My fatigue is still in the mid range, about 4 or 5 out of 10. She wasn’t surprised that I am still dealing with the fatigue as my body has been through so much in the last year +. I told her that I am taking things day by day, some days are better than others, but overall I am slowly improving.

She asked me if I have had any appointments with my other oncologist and surgeon since finishing radiation treatment and I updated her on those appointments. I also told her about the dermatologist that is removing my radiation tattoos and showed her the progress from my first appointment with him. She asked if her office has the contact information for the dermatologist and I let her know that I gave it to the front desk. Now if she has any other patients ask her about getting the radiation tattoos removed, she can give them his information and let them know that he removes them for free.

We ended my appointment with a big hug and she made me promise that my husband and I will stop by after our trip in May and show her the pictures from our trip and especially our ceremony….we are renewing our vows in Jamaica. 😁

So now my most excellent team of three doctors is down to two. I am sad, but also happy that I am completely done with a third of my journey. My oncologist and surgeon will be with me for quite a while to come as I am on medication for 10 years and I may possibly have one more surgery in September.

Dermatologist Appointment

Mood: Excited 😄

I think I mentioned a while ago that I found a dermatologist that can not only remove my radiation tattoos, but he does it for free for cancer patients. Today I went in to Atlanta to see him and have my first laser session. He immediately knew who I was when he came into the room because he held out both hands to greet me and said that it is a pleasure to be able to do this for me. He understood why I wanted the dots removed and understood about me not wanting a reminder of what I have been through with breast cancer.

I have never had a laser treatment before so I wasn’t sure of what to expect. The doctor let my husband stay in the room so that was nice for me. We were both handed glasses to protect our eyes and then he went to one machine and lasered my 3 tattoos, and then to a second machine with a different type of laser. It felt like little electric shocks and it did hurt, but not terribly. His assistant had a tube in her hand that blew cold air on me while he used the lasers so that helped a bit with the pain. My husband said he could see little specks of color lifting out from my skin….very trippy.

The areas that were treated are so small that I really don’t have any aftercare. They told me that the top skin that was lasered will scab and peel off. Once the scab is gone I will be able to see how much of the ink is gone and the doctor suspected that I will need at least one or two more treatments to have acceptable results.

I won’t go back until a month from now because the treatments, at least for me, need to be a month apart. Once I have my final results I will post some before and after pictures.