Fatigue & Depression

I have been going through quite a bit of fatigue and depression lately. I am still experiencing fatigue almost every day, so when I do have a burst of energy, I make sure to take advantage of it. On days when my entire body is hurting, I try to remind myself that I had my 4th surgery not that long ago, so I don’t need to be so hard on myself when I just want to rest. Resting has become another problem in the form of not being able to sleep properly. It is not out of the realm of possibility for me to be awake until 2 or 3 in the morning, sometimes even later, at least a few nights a week. I realize that fatigue is linked directly with depression, so I am beginning to understand how everything I have been dealing with within the last few months is all part of the same problem.

Not all of my depression is linked to breast cancer, but most of it is. I was talking to a breast cancer patient the other day, and she was asking me how long it has been since I had finished each portion of my treatment. I hadn’t thought about the timing of everything in a while, so as I was answering her questions, I was surprised that time has passed much quicker than I thought. It has been 11 months since my last chemo treatment, 7 months since my last radiation treatment, and 4 months since my previous reconstruction surgery; at times, it feels like a lifetime ago, but when I am having a bad day, it all seems like it happened yesterday. Even with all of that time passing so quickly, my body and mind are still healing. I have been experiencing what I thought were some of the side effects that I had at the end of chemo again, but chemo ended almost a year ago, so I am beginning to realize that some of them are symptoms of depression, as described below. Luckily, we are going on vacation soon, and the timing couldn’t be more perfect. I need a break; I need time away from everything that has been hurting my heart and soul lately, and I need to get my mind and body back on track, and I will!

Depression may be a side effect of breast cancer and fatigue is often a symptom of depression. Some people may have a tendency to depression, which treatment can make worse. At the same time, fatigue itself can lead to depression. Not knowing why you feel drained week after week, and not knowing that this abnormal feeling is normal for many people going through treatment, can make you depressed.

Treatment for breast cancer may leave you feeling sad, tired, or depressed. These feelings are complex conditions, resulting from and affected by many factors: your cancer diagnosis and treatment, aging, hormonal changes, your life experiences, and your genetics.

If you’re abruptly going through menopause 10 years earlier than you naturally would, with a quick lowering of hormone levels, you may experience feelings similar to postpartum depression.

Sadness is a natural part of your breast cancer experience, something you need to express and move through. If you don’t allow yourself to feel sad and grieve, the unresolved grief gets in the way of feeling better and getting better. You may be having hot flashes and trouble sleeping. You may be feeling overwhelmed or even debilitated. All of these factors can lead to fatigue and depression.

How can you tell the difference between fatigue, sadness, and clinical depression? The symptoms of clinical depression include:

  • an inability to cope
  • an overwhelming feeling of helplessness and hopelessness
  • inertia
  • an inability to concentrate
  • memory problems
  • panic attacks
  • loss of pleasure in what used to make you happy
  • lack of interest in sex or food
  • sleep problems

If you think you’re depressed, talk to your doctor. If your doctor doesn’t have experience treating depression, ask for the name of an accredited psychotherapist. Together you can sort out if what you’re feeling is depression or extreme fatigue. Therapy can help you feel supported and allow you to talk about what’s bothering you. Antidepressant medicines can help ease feelings of sadness and anxiety and help you feel better. An accredited psychotherapist with experience treating depression can help.

Dermatologist Appointment

Mood: Excited 😄

I think I mentioned a while ago that I found a dermatologist that can not only remove my radiation tattoos, but he does it for free for cancer patients. Today I went in to Atlanta to see him and have my first laser session. He immediately knew who I was when he came into the room because he held out both hands to greet me and said that it is a pleasure to be able to do this for me. He understood why I wanted the dots removed and understood about me not wanting a reminder of what I have been through with breast cancer.

I have never had a laser treatment before so I wasn’t sure of what to expect. The doctor let my husband stay in the room so that was nice for me. We were both handed glasses to protect our eyes and then he went to one machine and lasered my 3 tattoos, and then to a second machine with a different type of laser. It felt like little electric shocks and it did hurt, but not terribly. His assistant had a tube in her hand that blew cold air on me while he used the lasers so that helped a bit with the pain. My husband said he could see little specks of color lifting out from my skin….very trippy.

The areas that were treated are so small that I really don’t have any aftercare. They told me that the top skin that was lasered will scab and peel off. Once the scab is gone I will be able to see how much of the ink is gone and the doctor suspected that I will need at least one or two more treatments to have acceptable results.

I won’t go back until a month from now because the treatments, at least for me, need to be a month apart. Once I have my final results I will post some before and after pictures.

Happy Weekend!

Mood: Great! 😁

I am having a great weekend with my sweetie! 😁 I am working hard on getting my fatigue to go away and generally feeling better by changing a few things up in my routine.

Tomorrow I am going to get back to my workouts. The last time I saw my surgeon I was restricted to 5lbs and minimal walking. I am still dealing with sutures coming out from my surgery, but it is time for me to work on moving more. I have a follow up appointment with my surgeon on February 12th so I will talk to him about doing more than I am about to start with when I see him.

I am also taking more vitamins than I have before. My oncologist and I do not agree on this subject….he calls it “expensive pee” but says it is my choice. My radiation oncologist specifically told me to eat plenty of protein and take vitamins while I was going through radiation. I told her what I am taking and she said it was awesome, that I have obviously done my research. I have done a lot of research on what specific vitamins block cancer from coming back or growing. Will they help? Maybe, maybe not, but it helps me feel like I am doing all that I can to keep my breast cancer, or any other type of cancer from returning and pushing me into stage 4. I am also taking a few vitamins and supplements to help my hair grow, my finger and toe nails to heal and grow back healthy and my skin to recover from all of the damage the chemotherapy treatments did to my body over the summer. So, I am taking the following vitamins and supplements…..Probiotics, Biotin, Turmeric, Collagen, Vitamin D3, E, K2 & B-Complex. Yes, it is a lot especially when you consider the other meds I take for diabetes and now a hormone blocker to keep the odds of staying cancer free in my favor, but again, I feel that I am doing all I can to keep myself as healthy as possible and that helps me so much mentally.