I can’t believe that it is already October 1st! Up until now, it seemed like 2020 was going by as slowly as possible, tormenting everyone with endless challenges and sacrifices. But it is finally October; Fall has begun, and the end of the year is around the corner.
I have to admit that October never really held any special significance for me in the past, but after going through my journey with breast cancer, it has a new meaning for me. October is a time to reflect on everything that I went through last year, to help newly diagnosed women in any way I can through a breast cancer app that I am active on, to support those going through treatments and surgeries, to chat with other survivors and see how they are coping, and to remember those that we have lost to this horrible disease.
I received a free eBook today that I want to share with everyone because, as I have learned over the last 19 months, knowledge is power! I share information that I trust with you, my readers, because I have been there. I know how scary the words “you have breast cancer” are and the thoughts that flood your brain after hearing it.
If you have any questions for me or if you just want someone to talk to, please contact me at any time. I have a Contact Me page on this website, or you can contact me through one of my Social Network links at the bottom of each page on this website.
Your free eBook, Breast Problems That Aren’t Breast Cancer, is here! We are thrilled to provide this helpful guide for you.
Did you know National Breast Cancer Foundation is committed to helping people (including you!) with their breast health? NBCF is helping people at every step of the journey by providing breast health education, delivering access to vital early detection screenings and breast health services to those who could not otherwise afford them, and helping those diagnosed with breast cancer—and their families—navigate the complex cancer care system.
I have been going through quite a bit of fatigue and depression lately. I am still experiencing fatigue almost every day, so when I do have a burst of energy, I make sure to take advantage of it. On days when my entire body is hurting, I try to remind myself that I had my 4th surgery not that long ago, so I don’t need to be so hard on myself when I just want to rest. Resting has become another problem in the form of not being able to sleep properly. It is not out of the realm of possibility for me to be awake until 2 or 3 in the morning, sometimes even later, at least a few nights a week. I realize that fatigue is linked directly with depression, so I am beginning to understand how everything I have been dealing with within the last few months is all part of the same problem.
Not all of my depression is linked to breast cancer, but most of it is. I was talking to a breast cancer patient the other day, and she was asking me how long it has been since I had finished each portion of my treatment. I hadn’t thought about the timing of everything in a while, so as I was answering her questions, I was surprised that time has passed much quicker than I thought. It has been 11 months since my last chemo treatment, 7 months since my last radiation treatment, and 4 months since my previous reconstruction surgery; at times, it feels like a lifetime ago, but when I am having a bad day, it all seems like it happened yesterday. Even with all of that time passing so quickly, my body and mind are still healing. I have been experiencing what I thought were some of the side effects that I had at the end of chemo again, but chemo ended almost a year ago, so I am beginning to realize that some of them are symptoms of depression, as described below. Luckily, we are going on vacation soon, and the timing couldn’t be more perfect. I need a break; I need time away from everything that has been hurting my heart and soul lately, and I need to get my mind and body back on track, and I will!
Depression may be a side effect of breast cancer and fatigue is often a symptom of depression. Some people may have a tendency to depression, which treatment can make worse. At the same time, fatigue itself can lead to depression. Not knowing why you feel drained week after week, and not knowing that this abnormal feeling is normal for many people going through treatment, can make you depressed.
Treatment for breast cancer may leave you feeling sad, tired, or depressed. These feelings are complex conditions, resulting from and affected by many factors: your cancer diagnosis and treatment, aging, hormonal changes, your life experiences, and your genetics.
If you’re abruptly going through menopause 10 years earlier than you naturally would, with a quick lowering of hormone levels, you may experience feelings similar to postpartum depression.
Sadness is a natural part of your breast cancer experience, something you need to express and move through. If you don’t allow yourself to feel sad and grieve, the unresolved grief gets in the way of feeling better and getting better. You may be having hot flashes and trouble sleeping. You may be feeling overwhelmed or even debilitated. All of these factors can lead to fatigue and depression.
How can you tell the difference between fatigue, sadness, and clinical depression? The symptoms of clinical depression include:
an inability to cope
an overwhelming feeling of helplessness and hopelessness
inertia
an inability to concentrate
memory problems
panic attacks
loss of pleasure in what used to make you happy
lack of interest in sex or food
sleep problems
If you think you’re depressed, talk to your doctor. If your doctor doesn’t have experience treating depression, ask for the name of an accredited psychotherapist. Together you can sort out if what you’re feeling is depression or extreme fatigue. Therapy can help you feel supported and allow you to talk about what’s bothering you. Antidepressant medicines can help ease feelings of sadness and anxiety and help you feel better. An accredited psychotherapist with experience treating depression can help.
I came across this article recently and it was really shocking to me. I have always understood that breast cancer grows by cell division, but I had no idea of the timing from when it starts to when you can feel a lump in the breast like I did. I know that the information below is scary, but I am posting this to inform my readers because I truly believe that when it comes to breast cancer, early detection and information are key. If you won’t listen to me, listen to a doctor who makes it clear in the article below that a yearly mammogram is so incredibly important. As you know, I also believe that a monthly self-exam between mammograms is just as important. I don’t want anyone to go through what I have been through in the last 18 months, so if I can help just one reader understand the importance of mammograms then I have done my job.
Speaking of mammograms…my last mammogram was before my first surgery in April 2019. Now that I am over six months out from my last radiation treatment it is time to finally have a mammogram done to make sure that cancer has not come back. My surgeon explained that we couldn’t have a mammogram done any sooner than now because the radiation causes the images to look cloudy. So, next Monday I will have the mammogram done that my surgeon ordered back in February. I am scared, to say the least, but I am trying to have faith that all of the chemo and radiation treatments killed any tiny cancer cells that may have been too small to detect after my first surgery.
Ask an Expert: Breast cancer growth rate
From the expert staff of breast cancer research at the Robert W. Franz Cancer Research Center at Providence Portland Medical Center:
Like a lot of cancers, breast cancer grows by simple cell division. It begins as one malignant cell, which then divides and becomes two bad cells, which divide again and become four bad cells, and so on. Breast cancer has to divide 30 times before it can be felt. Up to the 28th cell division, neither you nor your doctor can detect it by hand.
With most breast cancers, each division takes one to two months, so by the time you can feel a cancerous lump, cancer has been in your body for two to five years. It can certainly seem like a lump appeared out of nowhere – especially if you or your doctor have recently examined your breasts and not felt anything suspicious – but in reality, cancer has simply doubled that one last time necessary to be noticeable. By the time you can feel it, a breast tumor is usually a little more than one-half inch in size – about a third the size of a golf ball. It has also been in your body long enough to have had a chance to spread.
This sounds scary, but what it really underscores is the importance of regular mammograms. These screening tests can usually detect breast cancer when it’s about one-quarter inch in size or smaller – a year or more before it would be detectable by hand. Mammograms also make possible the early diagnosis of some pre-cancerous conditions and early-stage cancers that appear as tiny calcifications (microcalcifications) on mammography but aren’t detectable by physical examination.
It’s important to realize that there are two types of mammograms:
A screeningmammogram is performed in cases where there isn’t any known problem. This type of mammogram is used for annual exams.
A diagnostic mammogram is performed when there is a known problem that requires careful evaluation. Diagnostic mammograms provide much more extensive images than screening mammograms, such as views from additional angles and compression, or blow-up, views. Often an ultrasound will be done in addition to the mammogram if there is a palpable lump. Make sure you receive a diagnostic mammogram if you’ve found a lump.
Once a breast cancer gets big, every doubling is significant. If you find a lump, see your doctor as soon as possible. Don’t settle for just a mammogram if the mammogram doesn’t find anything. The next step should be a screening ultrasound, and if those results are indeterminate you need to get a biopsy. Ask your doctor for these tests if he or she doesn’t schedule them.
Very helpful information…Once a cancer patient is in recovery most people think that the worst is over, and it is as far as treatments and surgeries are concerned. But recovery involves not only dealing with and healing from the physical effects, but the mental effects as well. As the first sentence of this article states, “Even if your person appears strong on the outside, understand that their mind and body are still recovering from a trauma.” Breast cancer and what a patient has to endure to survive it, is indeed a trauma, so it is very important that their support system is there for them more than ever when moving into the recovery phase.
Recovery from cancer is not easy, it takes time to navigate through all of the experiences and emotions that come up during what seems like endless chemotherapy and radiation treatments, blood draws, scans and surgeries. Coming to terms with the damage that everything I have been through has done to my body and mind is overwhelming at times. Every time I look in the mirror it is impossible to ignore my slowly growing hair, the scars on my breasts and the discolored skin under my left arm, from radiation treatments. I know that as time passes my hair will grow back and the scars and discoloration will fade, and maybe as I see those changes then I will feel like I am moving through my recovery instead of feeling like I do now, impatient and stuck.
I have to say that with Covid-19 limiting socialization and disrupting life as we know it, there is a stress that normally wouldn’t be an issue. I would be working on getting back to a normal life, life before breast cancer, and I am, but I am also dealing with the isolation and depression that the virus has brought to most of us at one time or another in the last few months. Normally, I would still be working at my job, and not laid off, which really helps keep me focused in all aspects of my life. I would also be making plans to spend much needed time with friends and family as I miss them terribly and being around them would help my recovery in so many ways.So in the meantime as I wait to find out when I will be going back to work and we finally get to a time when it is safe to get together again with those that we love; I am doing what I can each day to get through these uncertain times as best as I can.
Medically reviewed by Krystal Cascetta, MD — Written by Theodora Blanchfield on July 6, 2020
Even if your person appears strong on the outside, understand that their mind and body are still recovering from a trauma.
If you’ve ever lost a loved one, you may remember what it felt like immediately after your loss: friends checking in on you, bringing you food, and generally showing up for you. But as weeks fade into months and months into years, those check ins drop off — or disappear altogether.
This feeling is all too familiar to some breast cancer survivors who may suddenly feel alone as they struggle to adjust to their new normal.
Do you want to be there for your friend but have no idea where to start? We talked to mental health experts who work with cancer survivors to get the scoop on how you can continue to show up.
“Loved ones should understand that a great deal of loss has occurred for the survivor,” says Renee Exelbert, PhD, CFT, a psycho-oncologist and breast cancer survivor.
This includes loss of safety in their body, loss of safety in the world, and sometimes, the loss of physical body parts, or the loss of prior functioning, she explains.
With that loss comes relearning how to relate in the world.
Even if your person appears strong on the outside, “understand that their mind and body are still recovering from a trauma,” says Gabriela Gutierrez, LMFT, clinical oncology therapist at Loma Linda University Cancer Center.
The physical loss associated with breast cancer can lead to a kind of identity rebuilding, she says.
“Women are learning how to still see themselves as women even after their breasts have been altered or removed all together,” Gutierrez says.
You may be wondering why your friend isn’t being more celebratory. After all, they just got a clean bill of health and survived cancer.
Unfortunately, it’s not that simple.
According to the Cleveland Clinic, up to 50 percent of breast cancer survivors worry their cancer will come back.
“This fear of recurrence is a very common phenomenon that patients face as their bodies learn how to adjust back into the ‘normal world’ and as their bodies process the physical and emotional trauma they just endured.”
It may be tempting to want to jump in and try to “fix” things or to try to take the burden off of them, but now is the time for your loved one to tell you what they need.
Because their process was so emotionally grueling, there are all kinds of things that may be innocuous to you but a trigger to them, such as a food they couldn’t eat while they were sick.
“Careful listening will demonstrate the desire to help the survivor feel connected to and understood,” says Exelbert. “Knowing that someone wants to help you is extremely meaningful.”
“But if they’re feeling stuck knowing what they need, you might want to offer to help them get back on track with exercise or other forms of self-care,” she says.
More than anything, your person just needs to know that you’ll continue to be there for them.
“Remind them to be patient with themselves, and to have compassion for themselves,” says Gutierrez. “Remind them it is OK to bring up hard conversations with you, so long as you feel like you are a safe person to do so with.”
They may be afraid to bring up these heavy emotions with you, and they need to know they’re not a burden to you.
You’ve been running with your friend for 10 years, and now that she’s healthy again you’re wondering why she’s not interested in running.
When someone has gone through a traumatic experience like an illness, perspectives and priorities will shift. Understand that it’s not personal.
“Loved ones need to be aware that the survivor may not place the same value or importance on previously shared values, relationships, or stressors,” says Exelbert. “What was at one time significant to the survivor, may no longer carry relevance at all.”
How can you take care of someone else if you’re not taking care of yourself?
“Many caregivers feel they do not deserve a voice as they were not the patient, but cancer is a relational illness, and your experience matters as well,” says Gutierrez.
You were also part of the emotional cancer journey, and your feelings are valid, too.
If processing your own grief and trauma around the experience is too much for you, consider finding a therapist to help you work through it.
When I was first diagnosed with breast cancer it was unimaginably overwhelming in so many ways. My head was spinning with questions and fears and like many newly diagnosed patients, I felt like I needed to quickly learn a new language. Little by little I began to understand my diagnosis and what it meant for me as a breast cancer patient. Now, 16 months later, I have come across all of these terms either through my own experiences, discussions with my doctors or by reading the endless sources of information that I have discovered along the way. In the beginning of my journey it would have been so helpful to have all of the information below in one place for me to reference. I hope by sharing this article I am able to help answer some of the questions you might have as a breast cancer patient or a caregiver to a breast cancer patient.
At the bottom of this article, Monica suggests writing your cancer story basics using this guide. I am finding that quite often people will ask me for this information whether it is in a new forum that I have joined or during a conversation I am having with someone. I have included my cancer story basics here in this blog post and on my “About Me” page.
My Cancer Story Basics: I was Dx at age 51 w/ ER/PR+, HER2-, IDC. I have had ACT, Rads, and I am on a 10 yr plan w/ HT, Anastrozole. My cancerversary is the date of Dx on February 25th, 2019. I have had a partial mastectomy, port-a-cath insertion, reconstruction w/reduction mammoplasty and insertion of breast prosthesis following reconstruction.
The author of this article,Monica Haro, is the community guide for the breast cancer support app BC Healthline. This particular app has been an amazing source of support for me both while I was in the middle of fighting breast cancer and also now that I am learning to live life as a survivor.
Medically reviewed by Krystal Cascetta, MD — Written by Monica Haro on July 6, 2020
Utterly overwhelmed is how I felt when I faced the uncertainty and devastation of my breast cancer diagnosis 5 years ago.
I dove into online communities to connect, observe, research, and be heard. When I did, I was lost on some of the language. There were so many terms, acronyms, and abbreviations to learn.
Some things that now seem obvious to understand weren’t while dealing with a brain processing the new trauma of my cancer diagnosis.
If you’re wondering what in the world a red devil, foob, expander, and ooph is, I’ve got you.
I assembled this glossary of some common language used in the breast cancer community in hopes of easing the way for the newly diagnosed, and empowering you to jump in on those online discussions with some general breast cancer terms.
This is an abbreviation for BReast CAncer gene. BRCA1 and BRCA2 are two genes that have been found to impact the chances of developing breast cancer, but they don’t cause cancer.
There are many possible cancer anniversaries one might note. Defining those days to celebrate or commemorate is very personal and defined individually. They can trigger mixed emotions of trauma, wins, relief, joy, and fear.
The main canserversaries I observe are my date of diagnosis and date of my DIEP flap recon.
This is cognitive dysfunction associated with chemo treatment that causes:
difficulty concentrating
memory lapses
inability to multitask
trouble remembering names, recalling words, or spelling common words
Chemo brain is real for me. I’m the queen of brain glitches.
Some experience chemo brain for the short term. Others, like me, have lingering chemo brain.
Here’s what else you need to know: hormone therapy, radiation, targeted therapy treatments, post-traumatic stress disorder, as well as depression and anxiety, can also contribute to cognition issues.
Dental problems that may occur from chemo treatment. After chemo, I began to have dental problems I had never had before, including chipping teeth, increased cavities, and sensitive teeth.
I now find it’s often necessary to use a straw when drinking beverages as my teeth are sensitive post-chemo.
A person says they were “de novo” when their first and only breast cancer diagnosis was stage 4 and they’re living with metastatic disease.
Not all people living with stage 4 are diagnosed de novo. Their first diagnosis could have been early stage 1 to 3 and they later experienced a stage 4 metastatic recurrence.
Breast cancer stage 1–3 that hasn’t metastasized to bones and organs. Early stage breast cancer is typically any breast cancer that’s contained in the breast.
Estrogen receptor/progesterone receptor. Someone might ask what your hormone receptor status is. They’re basically asking if your cancer is ER/PR-positive, or ER/PR-negative.
This is pretty self-explanatory, but what you need to know is there’s a flat community that has been doing advocacy work to normalize bilateral or unilateral flat so newbies know that flat reconstruction is an option on the recon menu.
See @flatclosurenow on Instagram for inspiration and resources.
Human epidermal growth factor receptor 2 is a protein that can play a role in the development of your breast cancer. Knowing if your HER2 status is negative or positive helps determine treatment plans.
Hormone therapy. These are drugs — such as tamoxifen — that are used to block estrogen in some tissues while aromatase inhibitors lower estrogen levels. These help prevent recurrence or slow progression of cancer to prolong life.
Lymphatic dysfunction. Swelling in the arms or other parts of the body after lymph nodes are surgically removed or damaged by radiation. It may never develop or it could develop years later.
Metastatic breast cancer. Cancer that has spread to other parts of the body such as the bones, liver, brain, or lungs. MBC is stage 4 cancer, which is the most serious stage.
Short for metastatic, metastasized, and metastasis. A person might say, “I have bone mets” or “that person is a member of the mets (stage 4) community.”
That’d be the A in ACT: Adriamycin. It’s one of the most powerful chemo drugs invented. It’s called the red devil because of its bright red appearance.
Adriamycin causes many of the classic symptoms you may associate with chemo: nausea, vomiting, hair loss, etc.
This word is generally understood outside the breast cancer community to describe someone who had stage 1–3 breast cancer and is done with surgeries or active treatment.
This means living with, through, and beyond cancer. It includes people who continue to have treatment over the long term to either reduce the risk of recurrence or to manage chronic disease.
I might say, “I’m 5 years into my survivorship,” and what I mean is I’m 5 years out from my original diagnosis.
This word is used within the community to describe anyone of any stage who has had a breast cancer diagnosis.
It’s often used to evoke a positive and empowering vibe that we’re bigger than our disease and it doesn’t define us. Within the breast cancer community, people might identify as a survivor or a thriver.
When breast cancer is ER/PR-positive and HER2-positive.
Write your story
Try writing your cancer story basics using this guide. I keep mine saved in my phone so I can easily share my details when asked in online forums.
Here’s mine: {Monica Haro}
“I was Dx at age 42 w/ ER/PR+, HER2-, ILC. I did DD ACT, rads, and I’m on the 10 yr plan w/ HT, and thriving 5 yrs into my survivorship. My cancerversary is date of Dx on Sept. 18, 2014. I’ve had expanders w/ fills, implant exchange, explanted, and had DIEP flap recon. I have chemo brain. I had an ooph at 44 that put me in early menopause. I identify as an ally to the flat community.”
Monica Haro is a Bay Area native, where she’s presently raising her son Christian. She’s the community guide for the breast cancer support app BC Healthline, serves on the board of directors with Bay Area Young Survivors (BAYS), and has shown her breast cancer advocacy art exhibit with El Comalito Collective in Vallejo, California the past 3 years. Coffee, books, music, and art make her happy. Follow her on Instagram or connect with her via email.
