Appointment With My Oncologist

When I had my appointment with my oncologist on August 5th, I was hoping that my red blood cell count would finally be in the normal range, but it isn’t quite there yet. I wasn’t too surprised as I have been tired lately and not feeling the greatest. At this point, nothing but time will help, so I am trying to be patient.

I am still having a lot of issues with my memory. It seems like only my short-term memory is being affected, but it is starting to drive me crazy. My oncologist asked me if I am still “fuzzy,” and I said that yes, I am still having issues. So, I am taking a week off Anastrozole to see if it helps clear my head or not.

Once I have my next appointment in December, I will finally be on a different schedule with my oncologist. I will switch from seeing him every three or four months to every six months. I am making progress, and it feels good!

Long Break

Hi, I can’t believe that we are already in July and that it has been over three months since I published a post here! In my defense, I can tell you that I have had a lot going on since the middle of April.

In early May, I started looking for a house to move to because with the housing market going crazy, I was sure that the owner of the house we had been renting for the last six years would want to sell. About a week later, my suspicions were confirmed by a phone call from the owner. Finding a house was challenging because the home would be listed online, and not even 24 hours later, there were multiple applications on it. Right before we were due to leave on vacation, we went to see a house, and it was perfect! At first, we didn’t know if we had gotten it, but right before we flew out of town, we received the news that we had been approved and would get the keys on June 1st after we returned from vacation. So, my time was filled with stress from looking for a house and then getting ready to go on vacation, but it was worth it because we have moved into a house that is perfect for us and our vacation was wonderful!

While on vacation, we renewed our wedding vows on our 17th anniversary, and everything was perfect on our special day! Ocho Rios, Jamaica, is one of our favorite places to relax and reconnect with each other, so why not renew our vows while there. We were supposed to renew our vows two years ago, but between my breast cancer diagnosis and treatment in 2019 and Covid causing the world to stop in 2020, we had to post phone our trip and ceremony until this year.

I will update you with everything that has been going on over a few different posts in the coming days, which will include a huge milestone, a follow-up appointment with my surgeon, and how I am doing these days.

I will be back soon! 🙂

Dermatologist Update

I just realized that I hadn’t given an update on how things are going with my dermatology appointments in quite some time. As a reminder, after my radiation treatments were over at the end of January last year, I was left with three blue radiation tattoos that are deep in my skin and much larger than they should be, so I decided to have them removed. I found an excellent doctor in Atlanta that does laser treatments to remove tattoos, and he removes radiation tattoos for FREE for cancer patients. On February 25th, 2020, I had my first appointment with him, and I can’t lie; it does hurt, but after a few hours, the pain turns into soreness, and a few days later, it doesn’t hurt at all.

Recovering from all of the surgeries, chemotherapy treatments, and radiation treatments is a very personal and challenging part of the cancer journey. I have found when talking with other cancer patients that they don’t mind the radiation tattoos, but for me, it is a reminder of a terrible time in my life, and I don’t want to see them on my body. What is odd to me is that my port scar, which is visible with most of the tops that I wear, doesn’t bother me; it is like a badge of honor to me. My scars from my multiple surgeries to my chest are still fading away, and some of them are almost entirely gone, so they don’t bother me either. But the radiation tattoos…I can’t stand them! I know that none of this makes sense, but it’s how my mind works; I guess what counts is that I am doing what I need to for me and no one else.

So far, I have had eight appointments, and the tattoos have faded quite a bit. I was trying to go every four weeks, but between the doctor needing to reschedule me a few times, me going through another surgery last April, and the holidays, I have missed about five months. My doctor is wonderful and very understanding, so when I saw him earlier this month, he assured me that we would keep going until all three of the tattoos are gone; he exclaimed: “We will finish the treatments this year for sure!” I will post images from my before and now progress in the next dermatologist update.

Side note: I asked the nurse the other day how much my appointments would generally be, and she said $125 each. Dermatologist appointments are not covered by insurance because they are considered cosmetic, so it doesn’t matter that I currently do not have insurance. I must say that I am so grateful that I found this doctor because I would already be $1000 into the cost of having these tattoos removed, and that is quite a bit of money when I think about it.

How Do You Tell People That You Have Cancer?

Telling people that are close to me that I was diagnosed with breast cancer was a very personal and difficult decision. I am sure you are thinking that I am crazy for saying that and I would have agreed with you when I was first diagnosed, but I don’t agree now. Why wouldn’t a patient want to tell their family and friends? Or, what would make a cancer patient regret telling them? It will probably surprise you to know that I have spoken with some cancer patients that didn’t tell anyone, or that after the fact, they had wished that they hadn’t.

Family members, friends, and co-workers are never comfortable hearing that someone they know and care about has received a breast cancer diagnosis. It is a hard subject to discuss and every cancer patient knows that to some degree once they start telling people that they have cancer, the flood gates open with questions and in some cases blame. It is sad but true that sometimes out of fear, people are ignorant enough to ask a cancer patient what they “did or didn’t do to get cancer”. I can tell you that I was blaming myself early on. I was sure that it was my fault, that I had done something wrong and that is why I ended up with breast cancer. I know now that it was ignorant of me to blame myself. I didn’t do anything to cause my cancer, cancer chose me.

Sometimes people stay away because it is easy for them to assume that since someone they know was terribly sick during chemo, that you will be too; or someone they know did not survive breast cancer, so you won’t either. Understandably, they are afraid to be close to you because they think that you will die and it will hurt more if they step into the reality of your cancer so if they don’t talk to you, it isn’t real. I have found myself reminding people that I am still me, that every breast cancer patient’s experiences and outcomes are different, even if they have the exact same diagnosis. So many factors go into how a patient will respond to chemo and radiation treatments as well as undergoing multiple surgeries like most of us do, so it is impossible to predict what will happen. I am happy to say that I am doing well now that I am well over a year out from my diagnosis…I am a survivor!

I didn’t tell anyone right away because my husband and I were in shock and we needed to process what was going on. I also had my first biopsy to go through and I wanted to have the specifics of my breast cancer before sharing the information with anyone. Just a few weeks later once all of the test results were back, I told my family and close friends first through phone calls and private messages. As the news spread of my diagnosis, some people reached out to me immediately and others often times the people I wanted to talk to the most, stayed away from me, not knowing what to say. I can’t blame people for distancing themselves because I understand how hard it is to hear about the pain, endless doctors’ appointments, and everything else that I had to endure both physically and mentally for months on end. I also understand that people think that they would be bothering me or burdening me if they wanted to talk about things that they are going through, but if that is what they are thinking, they couldn’t be more mistaken. Right now, especially while I am laid off from work, I need my friends and family, I need to connect with people.

Being diagnosed with breast cancer has taught me that we never know what tomorrow will bring. Putting off spending time with the people that we care about and love should not be left until tomorrow, or next week or when we think we will have time because time is not on our side. {Yes, I know that the virus we are all dealing with is not helping bring us together, face to face, but there are other ways to communicate.} Sometimes the choices we make will only bring us to feelings of regret in the future, and sometimes it is too late to go back to the cherished moments we should have had with those that we love and value.

2nd Dermatologist Appointment

Mood: Grateful 🙂

On April 1st I had my 2nd appointment with my dermatologist. About 2 weeks prior to my appointment, I received a call from his office saying that they had to cancel my appointment due to Coronavirus and that they would call me back when they reopened to reschedule me. I received a call to reschedule a few days later and I was surprised that his office had reopened so quickly, and that they were able to reschedule me only one week after my original appointment.

When I arrived at my appointment I asked the nurse about the office closure and she said that someone on staff had symptoms and tested positive. She assured me that the office was safe as they took the time to disinfect everything so they could get back to seeing their patients as soon as possible.

My treatment went well and was quick as it was the first time. I pointed out the dot on my right side that hadn’t responded to the first treatment so the doctor made sure to laser it more this time. A few days later, the dot started to respond so that was a great relief to me. Responding is basically having a scab develop where the area was treated with the laser, and the scab develops and then peels off a few times before it settles and heals. So, my appointments are 4 to 6 weeks apart to give me skin time to go through that process. Does it hurt to have the three dots lasered? Yes, it does hurt but the actual pain only lasts a few hours with some soreness for another day; so to me, not bad at all.

I have one more appointment scheduled for mid-May and we will see if I need to go back in for a 4th time during that appointment. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate the time my dermatologist is taking with me to make sure that all three dots are gone to my satisfaction and his as well; especially since he is doing this for free because I have battled breast cancer.

Dermatologist Appointment

Mood: Excited 😄

I think I mentioned a while ago that I found a dermatologist that can not only remove my radiation tattoos, but he does it for free for cancer patients. Today I went in to Atlanta to see him and have my first laser session. He immediately knew who I was when he came into the room because he held out both hands to greet me and said that it is a pleasure to be able to do this for me. He understood why I wanted the dots removed and understood about me not wanting a reminder of what I have been through with breast cancer.

I have never had a laser treatment before so I wasn’t sure of what to expect. The doctor let my husband stay in the room so that was nice for me. We were both handed glasses to protect our eyes and then he went to one machine and lasered my 3 tattoos, and then to a second machine with a different type of laser. It felt like little electric shocks and it did hurt, but not terribly. His assistant had a tube in her hand that blew cold air on me while he used the lasers so that helped a bit with the pain. My husband said he could see little specks of color lifting out from my skin….very trippy.

The areas that were treated are so small that I really don’t have any aftercare. They told me that the top skin that was lasered will scab and peel off. Once the scab is gone I will be able to see how much of the ink is gone and the doctor suspected that I will need at least one or two more treatments to have acceptable results.

I won’t go back until a month from now because the treatments, at least for me, need to be a month apart. Once I have my final results I will post some before and after pictures.

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