We had a busy but good day….weekly shopping, went to a local fair with a dear friend to watch a friend of ours sing, had an amazing dinner on the way home. A busy day fighting fatigue as I try to get stronger and as back to normal as I can before my next surgery.
I finally got to relax on the couch at about 11:30pm but it was well worth every minute….and yes, finally a pic of me without a wig on. 💕
I have been doing OK since my last treatment. As usual I am tired, weak and run down. No amount of sleep or rest is enough at this point. I am tired of being tired….
Treatment went well today and it was quicker than normal because my nurse didn’t see that I have been getting the steroids and Benadryl mixed in a bag and given to me over a 45 minute time period. Luckily I didn’t have reactions to getting the meds quicker so that was good and it shaved close to an hour off of my time in the chair.
Work is an excellent distraction. I am thankful every day that I work from home and that I still have my job. I love my job and in many ways it is helping me “keep it together” from day to day.
I try my best to have as many normal days as possible but it isn’t easy because I know that my body is fighting hard and that I am sick with cancer. Most days I try to forget that I have another treatment coming up, that I am sick, that I am fighting cancer. To most I look like I am brave and dealing with all of this well but I am not as brave as you think.
I have cancer….those 3 words still make me cry when I say them outloud or even think them. I still cry when I look in the mirror and see that all of my hair is gone, that my left breast is deformed. I cry often, if that makes me weak then so be it…I am doing the best I can.
This is a terrible and difficult journey, one that I didn’t ask for, one that isn’t in my family history and one that will change my life forever…..