Mood: Nervous 😧
My appointment with the Radiation Oncologist went well today. They explained the flow of things when I start coming in for my treatments. I won’t have to wait in the main waiting room each time I go in; I just walk to the back, change my clothes and wait in a separate waiting room, so that will be nice.
Today was all about doing some final preparations for my treatment. I went into the treatment room and laid down on a table with a large machine similar to an MRI. They took x-rays, measurements and tattooed me. I have three tattoos which are the size of a pencil head, one on my left breast, the side where the cancer was, and one on each side of my body above my ribs.
Once my appointment was over and I got to my car I sat and cried for a while. I was composed and calm during my appointment but once I was alone in my car I was overwhelmed with the feelings I have gone through often….”this isn’t over, how much more can I take??” Like I have said before, when I get to a next step in my treatment plan I get nervous and freak out. I know that my feelings are normal considering everything I am going through but I was shocked that I reacted that way. I calmed down, drove home and went upstairs to change my clothes and started crying again when I saw all of the markings the tech drew on me with a sharpie. The treatments area is SO BIG…. 😣
Due to the holidays coming up and the time of day I requested to have my treatments, I won’t be starting my treatments until the 19th and I will actually go in this Sunday since they will be closed on both Christmas Eve and Christmas day. The only other day I will have off will be New Years day and then I will be going every Monday through Friday until my final treatment on January 24th. 25 treatments feels like a lot and my end date feels like it is so far from now, but if this is anything like chemo, the time will go quickly and I will be able to move on to the last part of my treatment plan before I know it.